We’re coming. We’re waiting at the edge of the city, peering around buildings at night, anticipating your submission to our commentary on the 1973 release of Messiah of Evil. As the blood moon rises, lie down on the swinging bed and enjoy details on the film, as well as Jason’s gas station rage, albino mulattos, Farrah’s nipples, Metallica’s downfall, theater prices, sexual compromising, more pre-Monster Bash scheming and one manly, macho high-five! So don’t be afraid. Once you’ve been taken, no one will hear you SCREAM!
The zombies are coming. Run to wherever you think you’ll be safe, but Matt and Jason will be on the roof, well-armed and transmitting their commentary on the 1978 survival horror classic, Dawn of the Dead. If you haven’t been bitten yet, come on up as your handsome hosts instruct you on film details, mall culture, Matt’s hatred of the sweater vest zombie, Jason’s fledgling criminal career, surviving an undead assault, bad retro fashions, whiskey science experiments, the majesty of bullet belts, death with dignity, the illusion of safety, the Dawn of the Dead remake, and other large-caliber rounds to the head. So, don’t just sit there… GET UP AND KILL!
We’re sorry to disturb you but we’re at Q-2 status. It looks like we found that lost commentary for 1985’s The Return of the Living Dead. Yes, Terror Fiends, we’re pretty sure. We’re getting confirmations on this in the form of film facts, fast zombies, vengeful party hats, ’80s punks, wizard sleeves, the perverted majesty of Blu-ray, dog-urine birthday cakes, the wrongness of “Thom” and other rabid weasels. Apparently, there is no contingency plan and all that can be heard is a cry of BRAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIINS! So, given your options, are you wondering what would be the most horrible way to die? Well, not hearing this episode, of course!
Greetings, kiddies! We’re Matt and Jason — the CREEPS! — and we’ll be your guides on this five-part journey into fear. So get yourself some cake and gasp like a lunkhead as we creep up on you with commentary for the 1982 anthology, Creepshow. Awful anecdotes, yell yarns and fearsome fables will unfold in the form of movie background, the merits of long-haired ladies, more mass murder fantasies, Matt’s home bar project, libertines, Netflix gripes, alcohol faux pas and other means to measure the bite marks. And, if you can hold your breath for a long, long time, we might even chat about some things after the movie. Of course, you know that if your dad catches you listening to this podcast again, you won’t sit down for a week. Remember that! Tuck in!
Deep in the jungles of Haiti, the natives are not only restless… they’re UNDEAD! And they also seem to have some pretty good job security as they toil endlessly for the master in the 1932 creeper, White Zombie. If you look closely, you might see Matt and Jason lurking around the plantation, gathering a dark crop of information on prideful flatulence, the history of zombies, the silent-to-talkie transition, sex with pygmies, more pronunciation fun and plenty of movie background. Afterwards, there might even be time for some discussion on what M&J watched recently. So, never mind the taste. Just drink it.
These are the facts as we know them. There is an epidemic of mass murder being committed by a virtual army of unidentified assassins. So, stay in your homes and keep a close listen to this episode of Terror Transmission as we warn you of the dangers of 1968’s Night of the Living Dead. Eyewitnesses describe two of the assassins as handsome, well-spoken and answering to the names of Matt and Jason. They also appear to have a lot of say about the dissolution of the American family, fear and identity, social breakdown, gang bang records and mass murder fantasies, plus M&J’s making of “Night of the Living Deadbeats” parody short and some brief mentions of Monster Bash 2011 happenings. Once they’re finished getting “all messed up,” join your hosts as they discuss recent DVD viewings. Now get the hell down in the cellar!
The night of the dead has begun. The Gates of Hell have been opened wide and the dead will rise up in hopes of taking over the Earth. Time is running out for humanity and the only ones who can re-close those gates are… Matt and Jason? Scary, to be sure, but also your only salvation. So, one and all, sit around the séance table, hold hands, and listen by candlelight to our commentary on the 1980 zombie apocalypse known as City of the Living Dead. During your trance, expect otherworldly divination of drive-in sexcapades, Matt’s vocal stylings, advice for necrophiles, party snack obsessions, debunking Fulci’s bad rep and other revelations from the grave. After the gates are finally shut, M&J will enlighten you with what DVDs they’ve recently seen. Amo il lasagna!
Only true Terror Fiends will rule the apocalypse and your headbanging hosts will be there alongside them, raising the horns in commentary salute to the 1986 metal horror offering, Trick or Treat. Prepare the flaming Jack-o-lanterns as Matt and Jason take you on a musical battle of band trivia, censorship, music discovery as a kid, backmasking, metal nerds, and the answer to the eternal question: which one is quicker, wine or whiskey? Following the curtain call, M&J discuss their most recent movie viewings, and maybe a rant or two in there as well. One thing is certain: These evil podcasters have just got to be STOPPED!
Who calls this movie from out of the Pit?! It’s Matt and Jason, you silly blasphemers! So, approach the altar as they unfurl the ancient scroll and read you their caustic commentary for the 1975 drive-in depravity, The Devil’s Rain. Wear your best robe and bring a chalice full of quality swill because M&J will be seriously invoking such maligned subjects as Satanism and the Church of Satan, facial hair supremacy, “The Shat,” Scientology, and movie/mob ties, plus plenty of saucy talk. After this extreme test of faith, stick around for Matt’s and Jason’s latest DVD viewings. In Nomine de Terror Transmission… we bestow this infernal episode upon you!
Life (or lack thereof) can be difficult for the recently reanimated. Whether it’s trying to find gainful employment or that special someone, it can be tough at times to fit in with a world of smiling, happy, as-yet-undead people. That’s why we at Terror Transmission have developed this commentary for the 1985 sci-fi/horror spectacular, Re-Animator; to help you in your time of need. Sit back and relax your rotting and mutated limbs as Matt and Jason lull you into a state of drooling hypnotic bliss, comforting you with their movie facts and related background, their strange choice in wine, and their ravenous appetite for bubble-headed coeds. After the film, M&J will give you some sense of closure with their recent DVD viewings, details on the next contest giveaway, and more. Welcome back to life!