There’s a fungus among us! Well, more like… fungi? Believe me, the only fun guys you need to pay attention to are Matt and Jason as they don the evil sunglasses and hack up the Japanese language with their culinary commentary on the 1963 release of Attack of the Mushroom People. Let your handsome hosts shoot spores all over you in the form of film background, funny crimes, the Shipwheel Cult, Japanese Gilligan’s Island, Matt the Yacht Rock Captain, the loss of humanity, hallucinogenic experiences, Reverse Geisha, exciting slave trader careers, Jason’s anti-Gamera rant and other bulbous banter. Now, go on. Give it a lick. It’ll make you feel good.
Woe be unto those who play this episode of Terror Transmission as you may open one of the seven gateways to Hell. Thankfully, your ungodly warlocks, Matt and Jason will help you face that sea of darkness while you hopelessly succumb to their cadaverous commentary on 1981’s The Beyond. Evil will invade your eardrums as you are struck blind by movie details, Jason’s recent trip to Italy, stupid American moviegoers, justifying Fulci, the non-racist implications of blech, trans-whatever, unsettling dentures, Mormon girls going wild, the public humiliation of film financiers, Peter Weller’s emaciated doppelgänger and all therein that may be explored. Listen in or you will be cursed forever!
“What kind of a place did you say this was?” It is a house of pain wherein your handsome hosts make… things. Things! Great big commentary things, like this one for 1932’s Island of Lost Souls. Strand yourself in this doomed locale as Matt and Jason perform their curious ceremony of film background, promoting the beast in Man, learning mammary euphemisms from Jason’s son, flossing with nipple hair, Matt’s view on Mormons, burning down your own neighborhood in protest, junkies in Burlington and other great achievements. Are you not terror fiends?
Seated in the darkened theater, you notice that something doesn’t feel right. There’s an uncomfortable mood in the air amongst the crowd. But, just who are the audience and who are the actors? It is a question best answered, if at all, in our commentary on the 1985 splatterfest known as Demons. Let your handsome hosts snort coke off your cleavage as they sexily discuss film details, hot girls with ugly dogs, oopsie-poopsie, Matt and Jason’s dating tips, skunk-spray birthday cake, drowning ponies, getting lucky in the movie theater, metal in Italian horror, concert destruction tales, cathartic violence, choosing your Argento sister and other instruments of evil. So, don’t bother trying to stop the movie. Because we’ll see you all in Hell.
Hello, kiddies! Tune in for a terror-ific turn of deceit, revenge and murder as your handsome hosts bring you some creep-tastic commentary on 1972’s Tales from the Crypt. Get ready for five foul fables in the form of movie background, media censorship, the bouncy and bitchy beauty of Joan Collins, haunting car crashes, seduction through grief, our culture’s fear of child/adult interaction, dark Canadian menace, hookers for the handicapped, how Fred ruined the ascot, whether blindness is funny, and other moldy mentions for you boils and ghouls. Death is coming. But who’s next? Perhaps… you?
In honor of our 100th episode, it has been decided that the malignant influence of the show should now extend far beyond our earthly bounds. So, your handsome hosts have rocketed into the deepest reaches of space to spread their vile commentary on 1981’s Galaxy of Terror. The Master has spoken! So enter the wet black hole and receive movie background, Eddie Albert Junior hatred, old man moments, fictional planets for carnal misconduct, picking on sacred cows, Jason’s love of Red Shoe Diaries, magic psychedelic beer, sexual assault in movies, film opinions changing over time, and other celestial silliness. Your countdown to Hell is about to begin. So, start drinking now!
Sometimes, it really does take a mob of sexually assaultive sea monsters to bring a community together. And group action is what your handsome hosts are all about as they foster their own twisted brand of awareness for 1980’s Humanoids from the Deep. Listen as Matt and Jason build good social relations through film facts, fat kid ineptitude, the biblical justification for stoning babies, Terror Transmission’s booze cruise, Morrow’s wacky death, overinflated Indian names, gay code, plucky women and other ways to create deeper respect and mutual trust. There’s certainly nothing fish-y about that!
Achtung, Terror Fiends! Run for the attic because your handsome hosts are goose-stepping their way into all things verboten with their commentary on the 1977 Nazi zombie classic, Shock Waves. Your food supply might be running out but there’s plenty of Matt and Jason to go around as they dictate movie details, perverted New Year’s resolutions, “flapjacks”, time travel shenanigans, the 3/4 Rule, Unterseezombies, and extensive discussion on Nazi interest in the occult, plus a special announcement or two and listener e-mail. Frohes neues Jahr!
Who could possibly gather all of the monsters together for a fun-filled romp during the spookiest time of the year? None other than your handsome Halloweeny hosts as we serve up a stop-motion animation feast from 1967 known as Mad Monster Party. Learn all about the secrets of destruction as well as movie background, anti-unicorn sentiments, hot puppets, ethnic humor in a PC world, the failures of unattractive people, Jason’s unnatural love for Phyllis Diller, reflections on Hitler, zine fondness, chicks who dig a little struggle, special treatment for special people and other facts that will keep you one step ahead. The invitation is sent. Will YOU attend?
We believe we have made a significant find in the ruins of 1981, an audio volume of ancient drunken babble and entertaining movie chatter. The episode is entitled “The Evil Dead” — roughly translated: Awesome Commentary! It deals with demons and demon resurrection and those forces which roam the forest and dark bowers of Man’s domain such as film details, Deep Throat, the Jewish zombie question, our three-year anniversary, the Not-Campbell, arboreal rape, crappy beer, humor vs. horror, and other creatures that may lie dormant but are never truly dead. So listen in and, like the others before you, one by one, we will take you. JOIN US!