Great Cushing’s ghost, Matt and Jason are seeing DOUBLE! But this time, it’s not the booze. It’s the blood-soaked bosoms belonging to the Twins of Evil. Become a servant of the Devil as your handsome hosts travel back to 1971 to bring you movie details, unintentionally filthy names, Matt’s twin-dating experience, the Mammo-cam, more teens and their sex and drug riots, Jason’s like for lackeys, polite groping, buying hookers when you’re old, the Pubic Hair song, and lots and lots of the ol’ Kensington Gore. May you find mercy at the seat of our Dark Lord.
There are mysterious parts of this podcast, but the only true mystery is that your very lives are governed by drunken show hosts. And they will be imposing their knowledge upon you in the form of 1980’s Inferno. But, Matt and Jason aren’t talking about mythology, they’re discussing movie background, the passive cuddle, pasta throwing as disapproval, killing off the old, Argento’s colors/visuals, predator/prey relationships, the return of the Selleck Scale, favorite Bradys, Matt’s house lighting tips for Jason, rats avenging cats, occult architecture and one MOTHER of a lunar eclipse! So, ask yourself… what do YOU believe in?
The basis of this scary tale is in reality. And the reality is that, once you check into the horror hotel, you’ll be locked in your room with two cloaked gents chanting some ungodly commentary on the 1960 release of The City of the Dead. So, before you’re sacrificed on the altar, you’ll have some time to consort with film facts, Danzig’s child-frightening forehead, metal band names in this film, “Dick”s, city vs. town, TV-watching as social curiosity, girls who wear your clothes after sex, Matt’s welding woes, Jason’s parrot traumas, the British round-pinchy-face, numerous callbacks from past episodes, the shaming culture and other savoring of heresies. So Mote It Be.
Woe be unto those who play this episode of Terror Transmission as you may open one of the seven gateways to Hell. Thankfully, your ungodly warlocks, Matt and Jason will help you face that sea of darkness while you hopelessly succumb to their cadaverous commentary on 1981’s The Beyond. Evil will invade your eardrums as you are struck blind by movie details, Jason’s recent trip to Italy, stupid American moviegoers, justifying Fulci, the non-racist implications of blech, trans-whatever, unsettling dentures, Mormon girls going wild, the public humiliation of film financiers, Peter Weller’s emaciated doppelgänger and all therein that may be explored. Listen in or you will be cursed forever!
Have you not gorged yourself enough on episodes? Well then, Terror Fiends, taste the soft bare flesh of our commentary on the 1963 release of The Haunted Palace. Entitle yourself to the small amusements of film facts, Poe/Lovecraft comparisons, British lip smacking, cinematic cleavage, Matt’s beard selfishness, silly putty faces, liking the villains, post-menopausal insanity, women who are “big in the boots,” torching the homeless, the death of TV westerns, spotting the Pazuzu and other means by which to possess yourself. And if you don’t like it, you can just go home!
Buenos tacos, Terror Fiends! Get on your burros and ride the hard road to Hell as Matt and Jason preach the unholy commentary gospel of 1977’s Alucarda. Blood will flow and nipples will harden as your handsome hosts bring you glorious blasphemy through movie facts, tequila, half-naked sellers of gum, bacon-wrapped nuns, blind sex partner fantasies, girl/girl discovery, Christianity as death-worshipping cult, the fashion risks of cloak-wearing, true freedom of speech and other freaky gypsy trinkets. Ave Diablo!
Bolted doors and windows barred – Matt and Jason stand on guard – another episode not to dread – yes, of course, it’s Pumpkinhead! And with that terrible rhyme comes their commentary on this 1988 creature feature. So, just in case God doesn’t show (and he won’t), enter the witch’s lair and sit a spell while your handsome hosts dig up their deepest thoughts on film background, a salute to our Italian-American friends, douchebags with headbands, city kids invading the rural areas, the ubiquity of denim in ’80s cinema, the gaping terror of Bundt cakes, gender ambiguity in monsters, names you can’t take seriously, Pumpkinhead’s black metal makeover, the evolution of music subculture chicks, and other things that’ll scare the piss out of you. For each of man’s evils, a special demon exists. And this one stinks of booze and off-color jokes.
Nazarene charlatan, what can you offer humanity? Certainly not the greatest horror commentary podcast… EVER! And where he has failed, Matt and Jason deliver with their utterly blasphemous commentary on 1981’s The Final Conflict. So, sit back and let your handsome hosts show you the raptures of their kingdom through movie facts, feeling the spirit, Bud Dwyer, Reagan and the Fundies, Christian hypocrisy, the enjoyment of power, Jason’s fascination with twins, bad girls, failed prophecies and other trivial lusts and perversions. Disciples of the Watch… do you HEAR US!
How far would you go for fame, fortune, sex and… really great piano playing skills? Would you sell your soul to the Devil? Would you trade in your meager existence for someone else’s far better one? Tough decisions. But, what’s much easier than that is bowing before the altar of Terror Transmission and giving yourself fully to our commentary on 1971’s The Mephisto Waltz. Drift off to an eternal slumber of film background, the sensitive Alan Alda, ’70s love sandwiches, the fine art of selectivity, fanny lust, sex lords, teeth tangents, pre-teen soap opera addiction, hard spankings and other multilingual divinations from two horny (but handsome) drunks in creepy masks. By sweet Shalimar, let it be done!
We believe we have made a significant find in the ruins of 1981, an audio volume of ancient drunken babble and entertaining movie chatter. The episode is entitled “The Evil Dead” — roughly translated: Awesome Commentary! It deals with demons and demon resurrection and those forces which roam the forest and dark bowers of Man’s domain such as film details, Deep Throat, the Jewish zombie question, our three-year anniversary, the Not-Campbell, arboreal rape, crappy beer, humor vs. horror, and other creatures that may lie dormant but are never truly dead. So listen in and, like the others before you, one by one, we will take you. JOIN US!