Nazarene charlatan, what can you offer humanity? Certainly not the greatest horror commentary podcast… EVER! And where he has failed, Matt and Jason deliver with their utterly blasphemous commentary on 1981’s The Final Conflict. So, sit back and let your handsome hosts show you the raptures of their kingdom through movie facts, feeling the spirit, Bud Dwyer, Reagan and the Fundies, Christian hypocrisy, the enjoyment of power, Jason’s fascination with twins, bad girls, failed prophecies and other trivial lusts and perversions. Disciples of the Watch… do you HEAR US!

The Final Conflict: The Soundtrack | Subterranean SINema | Sam Neill | Rottweilers: Not Evil | Mason Does Smuckers | Holy Terror, Batman! | So, Where Does Damien Live? | Speak… Of The Devil? | Cleanflix | Fox Hunting… Strangely, Not About Chasing Girls | Rossano Brazzi: Sleeping with the Fishes Since 1994 | Andrew “Not Merkin But” Birkin | Wait, What’s A Merkin Again? | The Annoying Chorus Matt Forgot To Parody-Sing In This Episode

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Adolescence is a world of rapid uncertain change, social and cultural upheaval, and a period of turmoil in which the boundaries of normality and pathology seem notoriously indefinite. But for one young man, it is also a moment of discovering that he’s the freakin’ ANTICHRIST! So, before you start sticking holy daggers into random teenagers, please consult this commentary for 1978’s Damien: Omen II. It’ll be a real revelation when you uncover movie facts, the return of the Mini Moose, crow vs. raven, staying away from frozen lakes, fireworks fiascos, rewriting biblical mythology, gay perms, Matt’s discovery of the foot rest, outsider teen struggles and other beastly blasphemies. Now, it’s time to put away childish things and come with us. We won’t ask you again.

Book of Revelation | Harvey Bernhard | Satanic Panic | Underground Passage of Acre Citadel | Sylvia Sidney | Northwestern Military and Naval Academy | Lance Henriksen | William Holden | Trapped Under Ice – Metallica | The Other “Death by Ice” Movie | Cold Shock Response | Choose Your Own (Evil) Adventure | Damien: Omen II – The Soundtrack | Don Taylor | The Sound That Jackals Make | Visiting Hours | You Must Watch Midnight Offerings… NOW

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The zombies are coming. Run to wherever you think you’ll be safe, but Matt and Jason will be on the roof, well-armed and transmitting their commentary on the 1978 survival horror classic, Dawn of the Dead. If you haven’t been bitten yet, come on up as your handsome hosts instruct you on film details, mall culture, Matt’s hatred of the sweater vest zombie, Jason’s fledgling criminal career, surviving an undead assault, bad retro fashions, whiskey science experiments, the majesty of bullet belts, death with dignity, the illusion of safety, the Dawn of the Dead remake, and other large-caliber rounds to the head. So, don’t just sit there… GET UP AND KILL!

What We’re Drinking | Map of Monroeville Mall | George A. Romero | Dario Argento | Romero’s Soundtrack | Goblin’s Soundtrack | Dawn of the Dead – Ultimate Edition | That Movie With Tattoo In It | Suicide Solution – Ozzy Osbourne | Ken Foree | Enter The Robo-Matt | Goblin Discography | She’s Dianne Wiest, Matt | More About Monroeville Mall | Steak and BJ Day | People of Walmart | Curse The Gods – Destruction | Circle of the Tyrants – Celtic Frost | Let There Be Brach’s | Tom Savini | Escape (The Piña Colada Song) – Rupert Holmes | Meet The Pagans | OMG, like, Taso’s on Facebook and stuff | Ring, Ring, Ring… Banana Seats! | Laurel Entertainment Filmography

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Under extreme duress, people are capable of extraordinary behavior. But, going after Crystal Lake’s most infamous killer will take more than just nerves of steel and a bad haircut. You’ll need horny teenagers for bait, an arsenal of home and garden tools for weapons, and some twisted advice from Matt and Jason contained in their commentary for 1984’s Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter. Enter the morgue as your handsome hosts slide open the drawer so you can identify movie facts, Zito’s neck, slasher favorites, metal in horror movies, advice for slutty teens, cinematic misdirection, the Coreys and other dismembered parts. Could this really be the last chapter? Listen in and find out.

Barney Cohen | ABC Afterschool Witchcraft Special | Joseph Zito | The Prowler | Actually, It’s CoreyFeldmanDotNet | And He DOES Have Some T-Shirts | Bark At The Moon | Savini’s Work from FT13:TFC | Have A Martini With Manfredini | 20-Minute Wank-out | Zaxxon! | That CoCo’s Getting Cold | Tower of London | How “The Last American Virgin” Ends | Little Corey Meets Santa | Crispin Glover | Lion – Love Is A Lie | Judie, Judie, Judie | Kimmy’s Got A Brand New Pair of Rollerskates | The Powers of Matthew Star | FT13:TFC – The Lost Ending

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Growing up without a mother can be a painful experience. Particularly, if you eye-witness her decapitation. So, what’s a young man to do but put on a mask and kill all the neighbors! Over and over again. Sure, YOU could do that. Or you could put down the machete and listen to a soothing commentary from two men who know much about poor decision-making — and ’80s horror sequels such as the 1982 hack-n-slasher, Friday The 13th Part 3. Gain strength from the depravity of others as Matt and Jason clue you in on boobies in horror movies, gay porn allusions, the history of 3-D, the effects of bad beer on podcasters, and… hey, look, she’s reading Fango! Either way, it’ll give you something to scream about.

Yes, They STILL Make Olympia Beer | But, Would YOU Drink it? | 3-D Makes Me SICK! | Steve Miner: Not So Popular | Paul’s Not Dead | Your Tube Is The Tops | Little Darlings | Soak If You Got ‘Em | Just… DON’T | Fangoria #13 | Stan Winston | Richard Brooker | View-Master | This Jason Is NOT Kane Hodder | Pulfrich Effect

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Deep in the castle’s crypt, the master has been awakened by the spilling of innocent blood. With torches lit, your handsome hosts descend the stone stairs in search of answers to this ancient evil. And they will find them. So will you when you listen to their commentary on the 1966 fang-tacular film, Dracula: Prince of Darkness. Follow Matt and Jason as they cast their torchlights on sensitive British children, drunken seduction, relationship age differences, “nose cones”, Matt’s bachelor lair makeover, favorite Renfields, and all the grandeur captured under the terrifying cloak of Hammer Films. Once the creature of the night has been vanquished, join M&J as they chat about their latest DVD viewings. It’ll be a bloody good time!

Hammer Films | MPAA… Meet The BBFC | Color Me Blood Red | Magic Underwear | Horror of Dracula | Sometimes I Miss VHS | Whore’s Blood: A Real Killer | Thunderbirds are GO! | Boone’s Farm | Hammer Soundtrack Compilations | Candle Snuffer | Make Your Own Kensington Gore | Is It Burger Time Yet? | Arte Johnson in Love At First Bite | Gobble Down Some Spotted Dick | I’m Trapped Under Ice!

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There is someone in this room. The smell of death surrounds you while you frantically look for a way out. Who — or what — is in the room with you? Could it be a machete-wielding retard bent on revenge for the death of his mother? Nah, it’s just Matt and Jason creeping through the darkness to bring you the commentary for the 1981 slasher sequel, Friday The 13th Part 2. Follow us to the campfire as we tell spooky stories of movie trivia, underaged girls, the fate of pubic hair, who the real Jason is, and with enough wit and charm to violently drive a spear through your frowny face. So, take that ridiculous pillow case off your head and listen in as we ring in our first anniversary of Terror Transmission with a true classic. Mrs. Voorhees would be pleased.

Slasher Film | Steve Miner | Fango’s FT13 Timeline | “Real-Time” FT13 Timeline | The Camp: Today | The Casino on Facebook | North Spectacle Lake | Jason… Meet Cropsy | Microvision: Not So Micro | Slowly We Garrote | It’s A Bird, It’s A Plane, It’s… Stu Charno! | Life and Death on the A-List | The “Other” FT13 Book | Girls Nite Out | The Crisis in Pubic Hair | Zapped! | Smokey Boys Band | Impalement Deaths – A Comparison | Gillette vs. Dash | MGP Settles The “Is Paul Dead” Question | Carl Fullerton

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Rising from a century-old grave comes the Count to wreak vengeance, gather his followers, and… party with haughty English mods? Well, not exactly. But Matt and Jason will be haunting the swingin’ streets of London as they comment upon Hammer Film’s attempt to be hip, also known as Dracula A.D. 1972. M&J will be rapping about hot chicks, groovy movie facts, far out personal trips, and then mellowing out with some post-movie chat and listener e-mail. So, open up a vein and hang with some righteous horror cats. Can you dig it?

Hammer Glamour | Belphegor | Matt’s New Calendar | Stoneground | Hot Pants! | Rod Stewart’s Got A Tummy Full of Love | Caroline Munro | Sir Christopher Loves Metal | The Wicker Tree | Korova Milk Bar | Ascot | Poor Devil | Stephanie Beacham | Star Crash | Why Won’t That Double Decker Bus Fall Over? | Brown Sugar | GMT Appreciation Society | Playboy – February 1987 | “Bobby” Peel | Britain’s Big Bad Bite | Which Mountain? | Beyond The Rave

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halloween3

Gather ’round, kids. It’s time! Time to put on your costumes, stuff your faces full of candy corn, and listen to our creepy commentary for the 1982 Myers-less third entry in a certain famous horror franchise — Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Accept the numbing earworm of the Silver Shamrock commercial jingle as we bring you all of the bizarre, Celtic occultness of one man’s mission to do something really horrible to children via the tapped power of an ancient ritual site of historical note… and computer chips… and rubber masks. Confused? Good, then you’re as ready for this episode as we were. Enjoy, and Happy Halloween!

The Shatner/Myers Connection | Silver Shampain | Stacey Nelkin | Vinyl Halloween Costumes | OUI | Hot Tubbin’ With Mikey | Coup de Villes | Don Post Masks | Gloria Steinem | Stonehenge | The White Shadow | Reflective Paint | Ted Bundy | Tom Burman | Hell Of All Hells

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