Terror Transmission is dedicated to ending all forms of sexual violence. To that end, Matt and Jason are committed to serving the podcast community through being a leading voice for meaningful commentary on 1978’s I Spit On Your Grave. Your handsome hosts will provide crisis counseling and advocacy for those whose lives are in need of film details, aurally violating our listeners, the anti-rape superhero, the return of Matt’s vocal stylings, changing views of female sexuality, Jason threatens the Mennonites, questionable fantasies, personal justice, and other means to change attitudes and beliefs that perpetuate and condone the cycle of violence. So, you want total podcast submission? You got it!
Bienvenue, démons terroristes! Join Matt and Jason at the Canuck pub for 19% alcoholic beer, poutine and something called back bacon, all the while questioning just what kind of party this is. Well, how else would one celebrate 1981’s Happy Birthday To Me? Even if the weather outside is cold and bleak, your handsome hosts will make you toss off your toques and feel elite with some schooling on movie facts, French-French vs. Canadian-French, Matt’s strangulation tips, hot bitchy-witchy, nut-cheeking, Jason’s sexy workouts, teen movies, weapons and sex, red herring overload, “give me souvenirs” and other ways to get the rich kids to like you. So stick around. Because you might never hear a podcast again.
Have you not gorged yourself enough on episodes? Well then, Terror Fiends, taste the soft bare flesh of our commentary on the 1963 release of The Haunted Palace. Entitle yourself to the small amusements of film facts, Poe/Lovecraft comparisons, British lip smacking, cinematic cleavage, Matt’s beard selfishness, silly putty faces, liking the villains, post-menopausal insanity, women who are “big in the boots,” torching the homeless, the death of TV westerns, spotting the Pazuzu and other means by which to possess yourself. And if you don’t like it, you can just go home!
Hello, kiddies! Tune in for a terror-ific turn of deceit, revenge and murder as your handsome hosts bring you some creep-tastic commentary on 1972’s Tales from the Crypt. Get ready for five foul fables in the form of movie background, media censorship, the bouncy and bitchy beauty of Joan Collins, haunting car crashes, seduction through grief, our culture’s fear of child/adult interaction, dark Canadian menace, hookers for the handicapped, how Fred ruined the ascot, whether blindness is funny, and other moldy mentions for you boils and ghouls. Death is coming. But who’s next? Perhaps… you?
You can hear the sound of a van pulling up behind you. The assaultive scent of Naugahyde and Aqua Velva follows as the approaching disco beat arouses your senses. You can’t help yourself. You get into the vehicle as the driver pops in another 8-track tape; this time, commentary on 1980’s Prom Night. Two handsome hunks in the back are staring lewdly at you and drinking heavily as you hear the chatter of film facts, Canadian slasher movie history, smart people who agree with Jason and the stupid people who do not, cruel kids, Matt’s van-tasies, the Lou-nibrow, hot chicks in hot pants, disco vs. rock, the majesty of Slick, advice for teen virgins, why horny kids get killed and other things that are gonna get you. When you awake by the side of the road two hours later, just go home and never, ever tell anyone. No one but you will ever know. Maybe.
Bolted doors and windows barred – Matt and Jason stand on guard – another episode not to dread – yes, of course, it’s Pumpkinhead! And with that terrible rhyme comes their commentary on this 1988 creature feature. So, just in case God doesn’t show (and he won’t), enter the witch’s lair and sit a spell while your handsome hosts dig up their deepest thoughts on film background, a salute to our Italian-American friends, douchebags with headbands, city kids invading the rural areas, the ubiquity of denim in ’80s cinema, the gaping terror of Bundt cakes, gender ambiguity in monsters, names you can’t take seriously, Pumpkinhead’s black metal makeover, the evolution of music subculture chicks, and other things that’ll scare the piss out of you. For each of man’s evils, a special demon exists. And this one stinks of booze and off-color jokes.
Will listening to this podcast be enough to stop the huge beast? Will the miracle be granted? Or will it be yet another of man’s puny efforts to oppose this irresistible force of ancient nature? Probably that last one. But, don’t be sad. Down a few pints of lager and let Matt and Jason lead you to the circus’s most fearsome attraction: 1961’s Gorgo. Sure, we’ll probably have to answer for all of the urban devastation in our drunken path, but in the meanwhile, we can enjoy movie facts, Jason’s fear of patricide, the joys of gutter-stepping, Asian perversions, non-smoking co-hosts, the uselessness of guilt, dancing penises, the divisiveness of Gamera, vicariously living through destructive monsters, and other things that should not be. Overwhelmed? Exhausted? Helpless? Then we’ve done our job.
In a distant room, you can hear the haunting sounds of music. As you approach the source, you gasp in horror as you see the hand that plays the piano is completely dismembered. Now, this might seem shocking but you haven’t experienced anything until you’ve listened to Matt and Jason’s cacophonous commentary on 1946’s The Beast With Five Fingers. Now come the hallucinations as your handsome hosts soothe you with movie background, Matt’s tween superhero days, robot girlfriends, cunning stunts, Batman and Penguin’s hilarious sexual escapades, dictators and the women who don’t love them, “pianists”, Jason’s hatred for female hairstyles of the 1940s, the gayness of mustaches, and other nails hammered into your extremities. So, relax and let the music… slay!
Right now, he’s out there. Watching, waiting. Don’t look… he’ll see you. Don’t move… he’ll hear you. Don’t breathe… just listen carefully as Matt and Jason give it to you straight at their fireside chat on 1981’s The Burning. Deep in the forest, you’ll hear the cries of film details, the glut of camping murder movies, pot deal refunds, IMDB idiocy, Matt’s love of ice princesses, summer camp memories, the horrors of terrycloth, the misunderstood Cropsy and other revenge on those meddling kids. So, are you in? Because, if not… YOU’RE DEAD!
Nazarene charlatan, what can you offer humanity? Certainly not the greatest horror commentary podcast… EVER! And where he has failed, Matt and Jason deliver with their utterly blasphemous commentary on 1981’s The Final Conflict. So, sit back and let your handsome hosts show you the raptures of their kingdom through movie facts, feeling the spirit, Bud Dwyer, Reagan and the Fundies, Christian hypocrisy, the enjoyment of power, Jason’s fascination with twins, bad girls, failed prophecies and other trivial lusts and perversions. Disciples of the Watch… do you HEAR US!