You can hear the sound of a van pulling up behind you. The assaultive scent of Naugahyde and Aqua Velva follows as the approaching disco beat arouses your senses. You can’t help yourself. You get into the vehicle as the driver pops in another 8-track tape; this time, commentary on 1980’s Prom Night. Two handsome hunks in the back are staring lewdly at you and drinking heavily as you hear the chatter of film facts, Canadian slasher movie history, smart people who agree with Jason and the stupid people who do not, cruel kids, Matt’s van-tasies, the Lou-nibrow, hot chicks in hot pants, disco vs. rock, the majesty of Slick, advice for teen virgins, why horny kids get killed and other things that are gonna get you. When you awake by the side of the road two hours later, just go home and never, ever tell anyone. No one but you will ever know. Maybe.

Jamie Lee Curtis | Langstaff Jail Farm | Paul Lynch | The Boogens | Sunglasses At Night – Corey Hart | Leslie Nielsen | Disco (Album) Inferno | Dance Fever | You Keep Me Hangin’ On – The Supremes | No, Not THAT Jerry Butler | Prom Night: The Single | Paul Zaza | Don Mills Collegiate Institute: Where Dreams of Death Are Made | Chevy Van – Sammy Johns | That’s The Way (I Like It) – K.C. and the Sunshine Band | Prom Night: The Remake

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Get ready to experience an exclusive three-hour stay at the historic Overlook Hotel located in the beautiful Rocky Mountains of Colorado. The Overlook has it all — breathtaking views, rustic charm, exquisite food and drink, bleeding elevators, creepy dead girls, paranormal attacks — and don’t forget the cozy accommodations! Matt and Jason will be your guides throughout your visit by commenting on the 1980 release of The Shining. Points of interest will include book/movie comparison, relationship power plays, Jack Daniels memories, catchphrasing, the brilliance of children, and enough psychological deconstruction to keep you lost in your own mental hedge maze. When your retreat finally ends, join your handsome hosts as they discuss their recent DVD viewings. So, come listen to us… forever… and ever… and ever… and ever…

This Stanley | And THIS Stanley, too | This Steven? | No, THIS Stephen | And Another Wendy | And Why Not Some Jack? | Or The Other Jack | Timberline Lodge | Hong Kong Phooey | Elstree Studios | Keep A Liddy On It | Turkel in Blade Runner | Don’t Jerk The Merkin | Advocaat: Not A Gay Magazine | Danse Macabre | Calumet Is Indian For Oppression | Three Little Pigs | Jason Hates Pauline | Shaky Shelley | “Shining” Spoof Trailer

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Have no fear, Terror Fiends. We are here to protect thee. We are also here to show you the exciting and rewarding lifestyle of the Antichrist with our commentary on the 1976 Satanic shocker, The Omen. Let us be your murderous nanny as we instruct you in the ways of the Devil through such topics as bad remakes, British evil, an operatic tribute to the moose, shoddy parenting, gilf-mongering, pleasant Italian ladies, and just how gosh darn adorable that Damien kid can be. No matter how many sixes you have on your head, you’ll be living it up with the Thorns in grand style. Just don’t get in the little one’s way.

Richard Donner | Eschatology | During What Episode Does Jason Spill The Wine? | Fantomas: The Omen | Gorgar Will Eat YOU | Hocus Focus | Know Your Rottweiler | Transubstantiation | Baboons Don’t Make Good Party Guests | Don’t Make Me Push It… Push It Real Good | Cthulhu Dildo | Buy The Soundtrack! | Then, Thank Jerry Goldsmith

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