There are mysterious parts of this podcast, but the only true mystery is that your very lives are governed by drunken show hosts. And they will be imposing their knowledge upon you in the form of 1980’s Inferno. But, Matt and Jason aren’t talking about mythology, they’re discussing movie background, the passive cuddle, pasta throwing as disapproval, killing off the old, Argento’s colors/visuals, predator/prey relationships, the return of the Selleck Scale, favorite Bradys, Matt’s house lighting tips for Jason, rats avenging cats, occult architecture and one MOTHER of a lunar eclipse! So, ask yourself… what do YOU believe in?
Woe be unto those who play this episode of Terror Transmission as you may open one of the seven gateways to Hell. Thankfully, your ungodly warlocks, Matt and Jason will help you face that sea of darkness while you hopelessly succumb to their cadaverous commentary on 1981’s The Beyond. Evil will invade your eardrums as you are struck blind by movie details, Jason’s recent trip to Italy, stupid American moviegoers, justifying Fulci, the non-racist implications of blech, trans-whatever, unsettling dentures, Mormon girls going wild, the public humiliation of film financiers, Peter Weller’s emaciated doppelgänger and all therein that may be explored. Listen in or you will be cursed forever!
Bienvenue, démons terroristes! Join Matt and Jason at the Canuck pub for 19% alcoholic beer, poutine and something called back bacon, all the while questioning just what kind of party this is. Well, how else would one celebrate 1981’s Happy Birthday To Me? Even if the weather outside is cold and bleak, your handsome hosts will make you toss off your toques and feel elite with some schooling on movie facts, French-French vs. Canadian-French, Matt’s strangulation tips, hot bitchy-witchy, nut-cheeking, Jason’s sexy workouts, teen movies, weapons and sex, red herring overload, “give me souvenirs” and other ways to get the rich kids to like you. So stick around. Because you might never hear a podcast again.
It’s possible that, by drinking heavily and watching this movie, your handsome hosts might have summoned demons who used to rule the universe to come and take over the world. So spin your metal albums backwards and join Matt and Jason in the fires of their own hideous commentary on 1987’s The Gate. It’s an enjoyable descent into film facts, heavy metal memories, Matt’s VHS capers, the weird kid in the corner, childhood movie crushes, purple camels, rooster hairdos, backmasking, psychedelic ejaculate, undead Harryhausen and other “touching” moments. Just make sure you’ve launched your rockets at the end. That’s the best!
Seated in the darkened theater, you notice that something doesn’t feel right. There’s an uncomfortable mood in the air amongst the crowd. But, just who are the audience and who are the actors? It is a question best answered, if at all, in our commentary on the 1985 splatterfest known as Demons. Let your handsome hosts snort coke off your cleavage as they sexily discuss film details, hot girls with ugly dogs, oopsie-poopsie, Matt and Jason’s dating tips, skunk-spray birthday cake, drowning ponies, getting lucky in the movie theater, metal in Italian horror, concert destruction tales, cathartic violence, choosing your Argento sister and other instruments of evil. So, don’t bother trying to stop the movie. Because we’ll see you all in Hell.
There’s a psychopath roaming the streets of New York City. And no matter how fancy shmancy you think you are with your fancy dresses and lipstick, he’ll get you. Unless, of course, you find that poorly-lit alleyway where Matt and Jason will drive you crazy with their commentary on the 1980 release of Maniac. Strike a few sexy poses while your handsome hosts take you away with film background, red light districts, urban paranoia, the gritty ’70s NYC cinema, ironic hipster nonsense, hot modern mannequins, angry womyn, vintage porn critiques, horror survival tips, the Maniac remake and other means to possess you… forever.
You can hear the sound of a van pulling up behind you. The assaultive scent of Naugahyde and Aqua Velva follows as the approaching disco beat arouses your senses. You can’t help yourself. You get into the vehicle as the driver pops in another 8-track tape; this time, commentary on 1980’s Prom Night. Two handsome hunks in the back are staring lewdly at you and drinking heavily as you hear the chatter of film facts, Canadian slasher movie history, smart people who agree with Jason and the stupid people who do not, cruel kids, Matt’s van-tasies, the Lou-nibrow, hot chicks in hot pants, disco vs. rock, the majesty of Slick, advice for teen virgins, why horny kids get killed and other things that are gonna get you. When you awake by the side of the road two hours later, just go home and never, ever tell anyone. No one but you will ever know. Maybe.
Bolted doors and windows barred – Matt and Jason stand on guard – another episode not to dread – yes, of course, it’s Pumpkinhead! And with that terrible rhyme comes their commentary on this 1988 creature feature. So, just in case God doesn’t show (and he won’t), enter the witch’s lair and sit a spell while your handsome hosts dig up their deepest thoughts on film background, a salute to our Italian-American friends, douchebags with headbands, city kids invading the rural areas, the ubiquity of denim in ’80s cinema, the gaping terror of Bundt cakes, gender ambiguity in monsters, names you can’t take seriously, Pumpkinhead’s black metal makeover, the evolution of music subculture chicks, and other things that’ll scare the piss out of you. For each of man’s evils, a special demon exists. And this one stinks of booze and off-color jokes.
In honor of our 100th episode, it has been decided that the malignant influence of the show should now extend far beyond our earthly bounds. So, your handsome hosts have rocketed into the deepest reaches of space to spread their vile commentary on 1981’s Galaxy of Terror. The Master has spoken! So enter the wet black hole and receive movie background, Eddie Albert Junior hatred, old man moments, fictional planets for carnal misconduct, picking on sacred cows, Jason’s love of Red Shoe Diaries, magic psychedelic beer, sexual assault in movies, film opinions changing over time, and other celestial silliness. Your countdown to Hell is about to begin. So, start drinking now!
Sometimes, it really does take a mob of sexually assaultive sea monsters to bring a community together. And group action is what your handsome hosts are all about as they foster their own twisted brand of awareness for 1980’s Humanoids from the Deep. Listen as Matt and Jason build good social relations through film facts, fat kid ineptitude, the biblical justification for stoning babies, Terror Transmission’s booze cruise, Morrow’s wacky death, overinflated Indian names, gay code, plucky women and other ways to create deeper respect and mutual trust. There’s certainly nothing fish-y about that!