Buongiorno, Demoni del Terrore! Step into the parlor and let Matt and Jason make you a nice pizza pie… along with a special vino just for you: Deep Red, vintage 1975. After a few bottles, you might feel a bit woozy, so lie down in the back of the Ferrari as your handsome hosts take you for a ride through movie background, loads of giallo film recommendations, Italian gender-bending, the power of J&B scotch, the glory of unfettered breasts, the beauty of cinematic death, the creepiness of puppets, Jason’s fear of little girls, arguments about pajamas, Matt’s spontaneous desire to solve crimes and other means by which to smash faces of pretty girls into glass. Que bella!
Have you ever been bored? Not merely restless and unoccupied, but really, REALLY bored? Bored enough to… slaughter a bunch of hapless virgins and bathe in their blood? If so, then do we have an episode for you! That’s right, heave up that cleavage and hoist your drink to eternal youth as Matt and Jason bring you the sanguinary story of 1971’s Countess Dracula. Sure, there isn’t a vampire to be found, but that shouldn’t stop you from suckling the teat of movie background, female serial killers, magic Dio ashes, the Eric Roberts lookalike, Ingrid’s Nazi tales, gay reindeer, an extensive look at the Bathory tale, the Ingrid Pitt / Peter Criss Connection, learning diversity from Benny Hill, the smell from the DVD room and other questionable fluids. And if your handsome hosts disappear, remember… try the whorehouse!
Achtung, Terror Fiends! Run for the attic because your handsome hosts are goose-stepping their way into all things verboten with their commentary on the 1977 Nazi zombie classic, Shock Waves. Your food supply might be running out but there’s plenty of Matt and Jason to go around as they dictate movie details, perverted New Year’s resolutions, “flapjacks”, time travel shenanigans, the 3/4 Rule, Unterseezombies, and extensive discussion on Nazi interest in the occult, plus a special announcement or two and listener e-mail. Frohes neues Jahr!
How far would you go for fame, fortune, sex and… really great piano playing skills? Would you sell your soul to the Devil? Would you trade in your meager existence for someone else’s far better one? Tough decisions. But, what’s much easier than that is bowing before the altar of Terror Transmission and giving yourself fully to our commentary on 1971’s The Mephisto Waltz. Drift off to an eternal slumber of film background, the sensitive Alan Alda, ’70s love sandwiches, the fine art of selectivity, fanny lust, sex lords, teeth tangents, pre-teen soap opera addiction, hard spankings and other multilingual divinations from two horny (but handsome) drunks in creepy masks. By sweet Shalimar, let it be done!
These days, finding a chaste woman can be difficult. You could roam the countryside hither and yon and still not find a pure source of untainted blood from which to suck greedily. I mean, let’s face it, being a vampire is a real pain in the ass. To alleviate some of that misery, listen to Matt and Jason as they take you on a hopeless journey through 1974’s Blood for Dracula. Feast upon the impure meat of movie facts, the joy of Warhol hatred, being topical, wirgins, dirty undercarriages, lax vampires, making fun of Tony Scott, intentional baldness, foreign charm, failed idealism, and other oily inedibles. Then for dessert, enjoy some delicious e-mails. So, listen in, and we’ll treat ya real sweet.
Adolescence is a world of rapid uncertain change, social and cultural upheaval, and a period of turmoil in which the boundaries of normality and pathology seem notoriously indefinite. But for one young man, it is also a moment of discovering that he’s the freakin’ ANTICHRIST! So, before you start sticking holy daggers into random teenagers, please consult this commentary for 1978’s Damien: Omen II. It’ll be a real revelation when you uncover movie facts, the return of the Mini Moose, crow vs. raven, staying away from frozen lakes, fireworks fiascos, rewriting biblical mythology, gay perms, Matt’s discovery of the foot rest, outsider teen struggles and other beastly blasphemies. Now, it’s time to put away childish things and come with us. We won’t ask you again.
We’re coming. We’re waiting at the edge of the city, peering around buildings at night, anticipating your submission to our commentary on the 1973 release of Messiah of Evil. As the blood moon rises, lie down on the swinging bed and enjoy details on the film, as well as Jason’s gas station rage, albino mulattos, Farrah’s nipples, Metallica’s downfall, theater prices, sexual compromising, more pre-Monster Bash scheming and one manly, macho high-five! So don’t be afraid. Once you’ve been taken, no one will hear you SCREAM!
The zombies are coming. Run to wherever you think you’ll be safe, but Matt and Jason will be on the roof, well-armed and transmitting their commentary on the 1978 survival horror classic, Dawn of the Dead. If you haven’t been bitten yet, come on up as your handsome hosts instruct you on film details, mall culture, Matt’s hatred of the sweater vest zombie, Jason’s fledgling criminal career, surviving an undead assault, bad retro fashions, whiskey science experiments, the majesty of bullet belts, death with dignity, the illusion of safety, the Dawn of the Dead remake, and other large-caliber rounds to the head. So, don’t just sit there… GET UP AND KILL!
It seems the snatching just won’t STOP! So, once more, Matt and Jason rain intergalactic spooge upon you, but this time with their commentary on the 1978 remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. So lie back, drift off to sleep, and let the duplication begin through movie background and trivia, urban paranoia, San Francisco nostalgia, anti-religious metaphor, the “sensitive male” ploy, Sutherland’s mustache, the sex lives of pod people, government distrust, “flapjacks” and other pills that you should pop just like candy. And remember, it’s more than a podcast… it’s a conspiracy!
Listen to them. No, NOT the children of the night… Matt and Jason! And while you’re bedecked in your best cape and fangs, your handsome hosts will be compelled to present their corpuscular commentary on the 1979 version of Dracula. Leave your crosses and wafers behind because you’ll really want to sink your teeth into movie background, apt comparisons to Coppola’s Dracula, the silliness of belief in evil, Langella’s hair, the dark side of romance, Jason’s Harker hate, EVERYONE’s Keanu hate, the eternal need for snacks and various other creatures needing to be dragged into the sunlight. And when it all turns to dust, follow M&J to the funeral where they’ll discuss recently watched DVDs. So, follow us. Because you love to be frightened.