There’s a fungus among us! Well, more like… fungi? Believe me, the only fun guys you need to pay attention to are Matt and Jason as they don the evil sunglasses and hack up the Japanese language with their culinary commentary on the 1963 release of Attack of the Mushroom People. Let your handsome hosts shoot spores all over you in the form of film background, funny crimes, the Shipwheel Cult, Japanese Gilligan’s Island, Matt the Yacht Rock Captain, the loss of humanity, hallucinogenic experiences, Reverse Geisha, exciting slave trader careers, Jason’s anti-Gamera rant and other bulbous banter. Now, go on. Give it a lick. It’ll make you feel good.
The basis of this scary tale is in reality. And the reality is that, once you check into the horror hotel, you’ll be locked in your room with two cloaked gents chanting some ungodly commentary on the 1960 release of The City of the Dead. So, before you’re sacrificed on the altar, you’ll have some time to consort with film facts, Danzig’s child-frightening forehead, metal band names in this film, “Dick”s, city vs. town, TV-watching as social curiosity, girls who wear your clothes after sex, Matt’s welding woes, Jason’s parrot traumas, the British round-pinchy-face, numerous callbacks from past episodes, the shaming culture and other savoring of heresies. So Mote It Be.
Have you not gorged yourself enough on episodes? Well then, Terror Fiends, taste the soft bare flesh of our commentary on the 1963 release of The Haunted Palace. Entitle yourself to the small amusements of film facts, Poe/Lovecraft comparisons, British lip smacking, cinematic cleavage, Matt’s beard selfishness, silly putty faces, liking the villains, post-menopausal insanity, women who are “big in the boots,” torching the homeless, the death of TV westerns, spotting the Pazuzu and other means by which to possess yourself. And if you don’t like it, you can just go home!
Will listening to this podcast be enough to stop the huge beast? Will the miracle be granted? Or will it be yet another of man’s puny efforts to oppose this irresistible force of ancient nature? Probably that last one. But, don’t be sad. Down a few pints of lager and let Matt and Jason lead you to the circus’s most fearsome attraction: 1961’s Gorgo. Sure, we’ll probably have to answer for all of the urban devastation in our drunken path, but in the meanwhile, we can enjoy movie facts, Jason’s fear of patricide, the joys of gutter-stepping, Asian perversions, non-smoking co-hosts, the uselessness of guilt, dancing penises, the divisiveness of Gamera, vicariously living through destructive monsters, and other things that should not be. Overwhelmed? Exhausted? Helpless? Then we’ve done our job.
We like pretty girls. We only kill pretty girls. And that’s why only a couple of ladykillers like Matt and Jason could bring you the sanguinary saga of 1964’s Blood and Black Lace. So, slip on your murder mask and meet us on the catwalk as we parade movie details, quack psychology, misogyny around the world, spontaneous homicide musings, Jason’s million mentions of Black Sabbath (the movie), the compliance of deceased sexual partners, Bava vs. Argento, models as meat, and other tasty Italian treats. Does the sight of beauty make you lose control? Then listen in!
Sometimes, you just have to get your lovin’ where you can. And Matt and Jason really get out their grave digging shovels for 1964’s The Tomb of Ligeia. Prepare for a mindless sort of madness as your handsome hosts exhume movie background, natural lighting for home porn, British horses, death and resurrection, May-December relationships, Jason’s necrophiliac desires, Matt’s favorite Dr. Who, sexy pale girls, drinking breast milk and other things that make you go meow. Just don’t look into their eyes. They will confound you!
Imagine someone coming towards you… who wants to kill you… regardless of the consequences. Imagine also that your death will be filmed for the voyeuristic enjoyment of a scopophiliac. What’s that, you say? Well, it seems you need to listen to Matt and Jason’s eye-opening commentary on 1960’s Peeping Tom. Have a seat in the darkened theater as your handsome hosts reveal film trivia, Jason’s love for this movie, sympathetic killers, comparisons to Psycho, bad mothers, vicarious thrills, gender bending, snuff films, the advantages of being blind, metal sub-referencing, and other mood setters. And while you’re watching the screen… we’ll be watching YOU!
It’s late at night and you’re driving down a lonely highway. As your last ounce of strength to fight off sleep is exhausted, you see a neon sign through the rain-splashed windshield. It directs you to a seemingly quaint motel with plenty of vacancies. What a relief! All you want to do is rest… but this could also be your final resting place. What to do? Well, don’t bother with that useless Bible in the nightstand drawer when you can get all of the survival tips you need from Matt and Jason’s commentary on the 1960 Hitchcockian hair-raiser, Psycho. Your handsome hosts don’t set a fancy table, but the kitchen is full of movie facts, Hitchcock’s profile, Jason’s poorly-hidden sex toys, ethical grey areas, oversized ’60s bras, bad hair, taxidermy as sexual metaphor, phone booths, Lemmy, Matt’s Hollywood metal memories, and one suspiciously missing butcher knife. But don’t concern yourself with that. After all, they wouldn’t even harm a fly.
Who could possibly gather all of the monsters together for a fun-filled romp during the spookiest time of the year? None other than your handsome Halloweeny hosts as we serve up a stop-motion animation feast from 1967 known as Mad Monster Party. Learn all about the secrets of destruction as well as movie background, anti-unicorn sentiments, hot puppets, ethnic humor in a PC world, the failures of unattractive people, Jason’s unnatural love for Phyllis Diller, reflections on Hitler, zine fondness, chicks who dig a little struggle, special treatment for special people and other facts that will keep you one step ahead. The invitation is sent. Will YOU attend?
Purchasing a home can be a costly and sometimes risky endeavor. In addition to bad neighborhoods, high utility bills, mortgages, remodeling issues, and other assorted hassles, you might also have to deal with a terrifying ancestral curse leading to total structural collapse… with YOU IN IT! Before you buy, consider our cautionary commentary on 1960’s House of Usher. At our open house, we’ll give you the full tour of movie details, Matt’s Sex-Mex excursions, crassmanship, the King Diamond / Cesar Romero connection, “Dick”s, alcoholic nostalgia, trashing Matheson, the therapeutic value of confessions, and other mortal expenditures. After the dust settles, stick around for discussion on recently watched movies. Is there no end to our horrors? No. None whatsoever.